網站 http://www.happyforum.org/ 歡迎超連結並轉寄網址
論壇 http://www.happyforum.org/happy/ 歡迎至論壇討論
Time：第 109次例會，2010年12月25日（週六）下午2:30 ~5:30點
Place：
viewtopic.php?t=15
Agenda
14:30~15:40 Introductions+Topic Discussion
15:40~15:45 Change Group+Break
15:45~16:50 Article Discussion
16:50~17:15 Host invite attendant to share feedback
17:15~17:30 Happy Time Conductor conduct Happy Time Session:
Host: Harris
Assistant Host:
Topic Discussion:
Hurting or helping
Listening well and curbing anger can improve your life
Source: [url][/url]
(Harris offers this article from a magazine, and he typed it word by word as the following. Special thanks to him!)
Perhaps the most affirming thing one person can do for another is to listen well.
“Remember that your listening is a great gift,” says Lorrie Eigles, a communications consult and leadership coach. “In our extremely action-and-results-oriented society, really listening and giving the person your time and attention is all too rare and very special.”
When someone wants to talk to you, stop what you’re doing. Pay attention to the other person. Make eye contact. Look at the person speaking to you.
Turn your body toward the person - this communicates interest in the other person and a willingness to listen patiently. When your body is turned away, it communicates impatiently and a desire to escape the conversation.
Remember the Golden Rule: Listen to others as you would have them listen to you. The person speaking to you needs something. They may need validation, emotional support, an objective opinion, or perhaps only to share the joys or frustrations of an experience. These are fundamentally human needs.
Sooner or lately you’ll need them, too.
Ask interested questions, Eigles says. “When there is an actual pause in the conversation, a directly relevant question demonstrates interest and encourages the person to say more.”
Don’t interrupt. It’s rude, and it communicates that you think what you have to say is more important than what they have to say.
Be patient. Not everyone is succinct.
Think about what the person is saying, not about what you plan to say next.
When you respond, make your responses shorter rather than longer.
Longer responses may make the other person feel as if you’re hijacking the conversation. It also suggests that instead of listening you were preparing your long response.
Despite the old saying that “communication is a two-way street” try to listen twice as much as you speak.
A new study suggests that there’s truth in the saying”, anger is one letter short of danger,” especially for men.
Angry people are more likely to sustain injuries serious enough to require emergency medical care, and the risk is higher for men than women, says lead author Daniel Vinson of the University of Missouri-Columbia.
“Workplace injuries are more likely when one is angry,” Vinson says.
Remarkably, he adds, anger was not linked to traffic or fall injures.
Multiple studies bolster the notion that anger poses a health risk by showing it can trigger coronary heart disease and heart attacks.
The link between anger and injuries has been more tenuous; studies have yielded conflicting results. One study that followed 100 drivers for two weeks linked episodes of anger with “near accidents of anger with “near accidents” but not injuries.
Vinson and his team sought to provide a clearer picture by interviewing 2,517 patients in all three emergency rooms in Boone County, Missouri, from 1998 to 2000.
The patients were asked about their anger levels before the injury. The responses were compared with their emotional states 24 hours earlier and with a random sampling of 1553 uninjured people who were contacted by phone,
The study found that nearly 32 percent of all the patients reported being irritable just before they were injured, 18 percent reported being hostile.
Anger and hostility significantly increased a person’s odds of being injured, and being hostile increased those odds six-fold. For men, Vinson says, the link was particularly clear.
Vinson says he can’t explain why the link between anger and injury is more evident in men or why anger hasn’t been associated with traffic accidents.
How to deal with Anger constructively? When you get really mad, it can be tempting to take it out on something or someone. Some people may even justify violent behavior by blaming it on anger. According to the American Psychological Association, however, “letting loose” doesn’t help and can actually cause you to get angrier.
1. Relax: Breathe deeply, count to ten, visualize a peaceful place or do some gentle stretching.
2. Change your thinking: Psychologists call this “cognitive restructuring.” Don’t tell yourself, “This is so terrible!” Rather, try saying, “This is frustrating, but it’s not the end of the world. Getting angry won’t help.” Logic defeats anger.
3. Solve the problem: Sometimes our anger is due to a real issue, but rage won’t fix it. Keep you cool and figure out how you can improve the situation.
4. Communication clearly: Misunderstanding frequently leads to angers. Ask the “offender” to repeat what he said. Listen carefully and try not to jump to conclusion.
5. Exercise: Physical exertion releases the “fight or fight” adrenalin that anger produces and help you calm down.
6. Laugh: Humor is a wonderful tool to help control anger. Take a look at the situation and try to see the humor in it. This can help you see what is really important, and what you can just let go of.
Questions for Discussion:
1. Do you agree the author’s statement that Anger might result a level of injure in some degree?
2. How do you manage your anger if you are pissed off by a predicament or a person’s behaviors? Offering an example to share with us. When, where, and how to deal it?
3. If wrath could possibly pose diseases as information coming from this article, you might start to seriously consider manage from now unless you don’t care your healthy. But do you believe human really can manage wrath?
4. When you are angry about a situation, will you let the wrath take yourself-control over; consequently, you make a wrong decision?
5. Have you ever heard there is an old saying “an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth?” Will you try this method to get even with someone who made you angry?
6. Are you the one who often apologizes first when having an argument with your partner?
Office Chitchat
1. He’s a backseat driver.
=> Mind your own business.
=> Don’t be a backseat driver.
2. You’re all talk.
=> You only pay lip service to the idea.
=> You’re just saying that.
例會須知 參與例會，請自行列印當週的討論文章並帶至現場，圖示如下：
請將社團網站，加入我的最愛 http://www.happyforum.org/
台中，每週六 (2008年7月起)
Taichung, every Saturday
from July, 2008
Place：
viewtopic.php?t=15
