20190316, Article, Taichung

[Jasmine0316]

網站 http://www.happyforum.org/ 歡迎超連結並轉寄網址
論壇 http://www.happyforum.org/happy/ 歡迎至論壇討論

歡迎加入Taichung Happy English Club粉絲團



Time：第 461 會，2019 年 3 月 16 日（週六）下午2:30~5:30
Place：
http://www.happyforum.org/happy/viewtopic.php?t=15

Agenda
14:30~15:30 Session One
15:30~15:50 Speech Session
15:50~16:00 Change Group and then Break Time
16:00~17:15 Session Two
17:15~17:30 Happy Time

Host: Eric Cheng
Assistant Host:

Topic:
How to Stop an Argument
Source:
https://www.wikihow.com/Stop-an-Argument


Please Note:
Venue:台中市南屯區 大業路182號 Mos Burger二樓
Thanks a lot for your attention.

Questions:

1. Do you agree with the ways to stop an argument mentioned in this article? Which tips do you agree with? Why?

2. Have you engaged in any arguments? If yes, with whom? Please share your experiences of arguing with your coworkers, spouse, friends, parents, kids, boss, etc.

3. Do you think all arguments are bad or not? Please explain why and take some examples from your daily life experiences.

4 In your opinion, what is the best way to avoid arguments? How do you usually handle the arguments that you have to engage in? Or you let nature take its course?


例會須知
時間地點須知：
http://www.happyforum.org/happy/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=15
協會章程：
http://www.happyforum.org/Association_Principle.htm
各分會章程：
http://www.happyforum.org/Club_Principle.htm
協會會員會費及各分會會員會費及入場費：
http://www.happyforum.org/15.htm
參與例會，請自行列印當週的討論文章，並帶至現場
http://www.happyforum.org/happy/viewforum.php?f=33
參與例會，請勿討論政治/種族/宗教/性，經勸導無效者，不得參加本會任何活動
http://www.happyforum.org/happy/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=1766
週六晚餐(Saturday Dinner)
http://www.happyforum.org/happy/viewforum.php?f=76
戶外活動(Club Outing)

[Jasmine0316]

Dear Taichung Happiers,

World peace begins with inner peace practiced on a daily basis. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WYP5fVxWHWw

Conflict is a universal language? Will you throw a despairing look or feel a sudden sharp pain, if we say so? What’s the price we have to pay for muting the pain? Life is filled with twists and turns. Concealing the strain on our timidity, perception and appreciation can turn conflict into compliance, or a stunning second chance. Recognized by Time magazine as being equal in influence to Eleanor Roosevelt (the longest serving First Lady of the United States), Dorothy Celene Thompson (July 9, 1893 – January 30, 1961) revealed a gigantic space of peace stretching into immensity. “Peace is not the absence of conflict but the presence of creative alternatives for responding to conflict -- alternatives to passive or aggressive responses, alternatives to violence.” While conflict is raising a seductive storm of chaos in the dark, our hearts miss a beat. What can stop conflict from spreading like poison in the air? Conflict requests our new minds to further reflect, to clarify what’s important to us and to others, and to foster change. Most importantly, how can we be energized by conflict, look at one another with more concern than suspicion, and create constructive connections? The choice to transform and to be transformed is totally up to us. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to join our host Eric in feeling the fresh wave of confidence and digging deeper into the bridge between our inner and outer worlds.

The Possibility. “I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.” Conflicts shouldn’t be the Museum of Sighs. Yet, conflict could be a hustle wind stirring through the water, knocking down our confidence and connections. As a result, sailing against the wind of conflict is more than a priority. William James (1842–1910), the "Father of American psychology", beheld the wonder of the beyond. “Whenever you’re in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude.” Attitude, what is your attitude towards conflict? What do you think and feel about conflict? Ginka Toegel and Jean-Louis Barsoux are professors at IMD business school in Lausanne, Switzerland, who encourage us to re-define conflict as a golden opportunity and a distinct possibility--to further accept and elevate ourselves and others. https://hbr.org/2016/06/how-to-preempt-team-conflict?referral=03759&cm_vc=rr_item_page.bottom Life has many colors. Don't be afraid to dance with devils. Conflict is an energy source to bring back summer in the snowstorm of chaos. The beauty of conflict teaches us to recognize and respect diversity. Conflict gifts us the possibility of peace, which allows us to see the blind spot and grow from it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FsFz1H447kk Eventually, we can trust the truth that the sense of attachment is very productive to deepen our closeness to our relationships. Conflict opens the door for us to discover that our minds can, at least, travel in parallel. What we need is to accept the paradoxical nature of everything, not simply adapt it away—like how we carefully Hug a Porcupine! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l8HkLF3U1U0

“The Bridge” (by Shel Silverstein)

This bridge will only take you halfway there
To those mysterious lands you long to see:
Through gypsy camps and swirling Arab fairs
And moonlit woods where unicorns run free.
So come and walk awhile with me and share
The twisting trails and wondrous worlds I've known.
But this bridge will only take you halfway there-
The last few steps you'll have to take alone.

The progress. How are you feeling? To avoid conflict: do nothing, say nothing, be nothing. Author Steve Goodier admonishes us that: “We don't get harmony when everybody sings the same note. Only notes that are different can harmonize. The same is true with people.” It is only when we’ve abandoned all the anxiety and stress that we discover the root cause of conflict is the expectation-vs-reality thing. So, let us bury the unpleasant desire under mountains of silence. How to unsubscribe toxic people’s reality and find our own reality? The fundamental thing is to enhance our emotional status and command the mutual respect. Having received numerous awards, American author and science journalist Daniel Goleman explains the theory and strategies, and calls for our daily practice. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pt74vK9pgIA While conflict is creating chaos, we are mostly unaware of the negative impact on more people. How to keep people from hijacking our emotional status? The most ignored solution is the power of humor. Humor, is the big distraction. https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/managing-conflicts-with-humor.htm And, the purest and most pleasant solution to melt conflicts away, you are asking? If it is not food, what is? Food creates a surprisingly strong bond. When the flavor rings within reach, all the denial and anger start evaporating into the shadows in the distance. https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/food-and-drink/features/conflict-kitchen-how-food-can-unite-us-all-9748599.html

The positivity. It’s not about the scar; it’s all about your heart. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ylzqhpU4WyQ Conflict still grants marvelous moments. What solution can work for the conflict? Is it to observe each other with the poisoned mixture of suspicion and position? Nope. Is it to address the opinions? Nope. Is it to address the fighting strategies? Nope. It is to meet the needs on both sides.
And, it is compassion that fuels our interest to listen, to both sides’ needs, to the hidden treasure—the information behind every conflict. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/compassion-matters/201404/5-steps-end-any-fight For example, what will be the devastating consequence if we don’t value people as who they are over their usefulness? In daily life conflict, nothing is more difficult than dealing with a narcissistic personality. Dr. Craig Malkin, a psychologist at Harvard Medical School, teaches us how to “win” the argument with a narcissist. https://www.bakadesuyo.com/2017/10/how-to-win-with-a-narcissist/ We know the point is more than to “win”—it is to save more lost souls—when they are valued as who they are. The interest to investigate what we have not yet noticed helps us to move forward, in the presence of fear, anger, and conflict, in particular. At a critical moment in a conflict, the role of each party becomes confused. It is an argument among equals—we don’t know who we really are until compassion sheds light of spirit. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZC140dC8Ps

Love conquers all. Conflict! The possibility; the progress; the positivity. Conflict, or controversy, is a double-edged sword we haven’t learned to compensate for the loss. However, in every moment, we have the choice. Listening to the echo of our compassion, we are convinced that the blade won’t turn against us. Conflict makes us imagine that something else is possible. Conflict management takes no easy answers, but the right questions. Conflict is nothing more than the strategy to try to meet people’s needs. American novelist and screenwriter Nicholas Sparks mirrors the map of the possibility, the progress, and the positivity. “If conversation was the lyrics, laughter was the music, making time spent together a melody that could be replayed over and over without getting stale.” Therefore, nurture the strength of our minds to nourish compassion. With it, we smile again, that smile that forgives everything, that understands everything. We smile again, that smile sheds light where there has always been darkness. We smile again, that smile always leaves its mark on us. World peace begins with inner peace practiced on a daily basis. Join us. Thanks!!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YntD1QDf_fQ







With Gratitude,
Jasmine

[Kevin01]

20190316 Gathering