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Once I had this 10-year relationship with a woman who was my college sweetheart. Just when I thought my life was complete she left me for another guy. I was heartbroken and devastated. That's what could happen when surprises catch you off guard. And isn't life full of surprises?

Knowing I was dumped and hurt, my friends tried to cheer me up by saying something like, “Chi, there is plenty of fish in the sea,” or “When one door is closed, anther is open.” True, maybe, but that kind of talk ain’t helping me at the time. Somehow, I was searching for answers to a simple question: why did it happen to me? Finding no answers and quick fix, I became trapped in mixed emotions of anger, despair and self-pity, and drifted away from my buddies.

One day I came across a pocket book titled “How To Get People To Do Things” on a yard sale. I picked it up, flipped a few pages, and right there a block of sentences talking about forgiving jumped out of the page and started easing my pain as if I was taking a pain reliever. I bought the book (for a friction of a dollar), hurried home and started reading it. The book turned out to be a wonderful guide on how to change ourselves in order to be successful in loving, leading and succeeding in life and at work.

Every day I came straight home after work, locked myself up, and read few pages of the book. Then I reflected what I read on what had happened to me, where I had done wrong in the relationship, and what I should have handled the relationship. And I took serious notes as if I was my own shrink doing psychoanalysis. Slowly, I dug myself out, began to breathe normal again, and eventually forgave her and walked out of the shadow, thanks to that little book. It was my life saver.

Every since then, I fell in love with reading. I’ve read novels, memoirs, news articles and any other stuff that caught my eyes. My mind is wide open. I begin to see things differently. And, most importantly, I am able to think, speak and write better in English.

As beneficiary of reading, I promote reading every chance I get. I was delighted to come across this webiste and look forward to exchanging ideas with you as to how to max the power of reading.

Until then, let’s read on.

excellent writing skills!

can you let us know the author of that book you read?

what are some helpful tips you learned from the book?

Hi Dustin,

Glad you asked, though I'm not sure if the book might help anyone who just had a breakup or is going through one. It just happened to work for me at the time.

To answer your questions, "How To Get People To Do Things" was published in 1979 and written by a guy named Robert Conklin, who was successful as a salesman like Dale Carnegie but not as famous. But like many books written by Dale Cargegie, this book focuses on changing the way we see things, we treat people, and we look at ourselves. For example, if people are not nice to us, we usualy stay away from them, right? But we have to take a different approach to manage them if they happen to be our bosses or customers, or we will end up hitting the wall, being miserable or having to quit. Conklin's suggestions about managing relationships at work and in life make great sense to me, even today. That's how I saw my 'blind spots' in the relationship with that woman who broke up with me years ago. It was a relief to see where I did wrong so I could fix the problems on my end and be a better man.

A better Chister

thanks for the info, chister. Can you give us some specific advice by Conklin that helped you shift your world view?

The book didn't change my world view, it changed the way I see people though. Instead of focusing on 'I' perspective, now I try to put myself in others' shoes. And that makes a whole lot of diference in my relationships with people around me.

Out of curiosity, I googled the book, and guess what? The book can still be found on amazon.com, in case you're interested.

By the way, have you read anything that inspires you? Care to share your thoughts?

chister

I enjoy books by 鄭石岩, I think his books offer some very good insights.

Also, recently I came across this 3 minute speech by Richard St. John, which I think can help everyone maximize their potential:

http://www.ted.com/talks/richard_st_joh ... ccess.html

Thank you, Dustin.
This 3 minute speech really gets to the point.

Could I also share something?
My good friend sent me a good book inspires me a lot.
The book's name is "THE POWER OF POSITIVE THINKING".
It was written by Norman Vincent Peale. He is a progenitor of the theory of "positive thinking".
I believe that people won't regret reading this book and they will become better and better after reading this book.
In fact, many people are changed indeed after reading it.

dustin12345 寫:I enjoy books by 鄭石岩, I think his books offer some very good insights.

Also, recently I came across this 3 minute speech by Richard St. John, which I think can help everyone maximize their potential:

http://www.ted.com/talks/richard_st_joh ... ccess.html

Dustin :
In case you are still interested in the book Chister referring , could be borrowed at certain Taiwan city library without any fee .. And here is the code for this book -- " 177.3 0043 " v9 and "10659 臺北市建國南路二段125號" main library i sthe closest to your office . Usually this kind book always been forzen with heavy dust on it related to the behavior of Taiwan reader .. Shame .. I couldn't read it now as personal schedule , but been in my book list this lunar new year festival . Compared with routine festival pattern most fun , Dvd and big meal exculsively .. , quiet different

Guys,

I didn't expect there are some interests in the little pocket book I mentioned in my post, and that sort of gave me an idea of online discussions for those of you who are interested in readings that inspire you.

I know of the weekly physical meeting of some of you for English speaking practice purposes. The ORD can be another great tool for sharpening your English communicative skills and probably even better than public speaking as you don't see other people online.

This is how it works:

1. Pick a short article from any inspiring book. For starter, may I recommend 'Chicken Soup for the Soul'? The stories gathered in the books are put in several categories, and each story is kind of short and easy to read and understand.

2. Before going online, interested participants read the story, take notes, raise questions, and retell and summarize the story.

3. Then they reflect it on their past experience (this is where thoughts and langauge skills put to test) and share it with the rest of the group when online.

4. Requirements? Skype, mic, speakers and an online whiteboard on the computer and a desire to share.

5. Everyone can host the ORD, and it can be held weekly or bi-weekinly.

6. Other than English speaking, we can practice writing. It makes writing easier when we write about what we've thought and talked about.

These are just some of my ideas about ORD. Your thoughts, comments or recommendations are more than welcome.

Chister

we definitely encourage online discussion of books and articles and arrangements for skype talks over this forum.

that's what this forum is for!

Hi Dustin

Following up on my online English reading idea that I proposed in my previous post, I was wondering if any of you would be interested in joining this fun event. But let me first explain to you what I mean by 'fun:'

a. You gonna access a fasicinating e-whiteboard that allows you to read, write, text, talk and record messages. That is at the center of all the fun things we will do online.

b. Because of the e-board, you can interact with me and the other group members either by texting and writing or by speaking or both.

c. If you want to practice your speaking, this is the place. You can form questions and answer others', retell the story that has been discussed, or share your experience. Even better, you can leave the study group members voice messages when off line and they will get back to you with their recorded messages, hopefully. And before long, you may have partners to practice spoken English with.

d. If you want to improve your writing, join us. You can rewrite the paragprahs or summarize the story or answer the after-reading questions. I'll be more than happy to share with you mine, or correct your writing if you so wish.

e. Above all, the two-hour online event is absolutely FREE, and I'm fun to talk to. Ain't that great?

DRAWBACK
The e-whiteboard can only accommodate 10 people at a time. If I'm to host the event, we only have 9 slots open for you.

REQUIREMENTS
1. You need a computer that has the latest version of Adobe Flash Player downloaded, access to the Internet, a mic and speakers.
2. As this is not a class, you MUST share your ideas and contribute your knowledge to the rest of the group. If you can do that, you are very welcome to sign up for this event.

READING
A Chicken Soup for the Soul article will be prepared and sent to your email address. (If you don't like Chicken Soup stories, then this is no good for you.)

Time
This Saturday, January 16th, 9 a.m. - 11 a.m.

REGISTRATION
When emailing me at wilyuno@hotmail.com to express your interest in this online activity, might as well introduce yourself a bit, perferrably in English if you don't mind, so I can send you the artile and info on the e-whiteboard.

Any thoughts or ideas?

Chister